Is Dialogue Possible?

A few days back, sometime around midnight, I was having online chat with an old friend who now lives in Saudi Arabia. He was quite a liberal man few years back but now is much more inclined towards a conservative approach about various matters concerning life. During discussion we started talking about some sensitive issue and we had entirely different point of views. In fact, there were only different point views and no dialogue at all as there was very little that we could agree on.  The discussion ended without either of us being convinced of anything. There was no reconciliation or insightful conclusion and I slept with a bad taste.

In the morning, when I woke up, the same matter was in my head but this time with a little sweetness added to it which took away the bitterness of the negative experience. There was buzz in the head, “I know that I don’t know everything. I haven’t lived the total experience of all human beings who ever lived on this earth”. This insight which was enchanting. Flowing in the rhythm, beautiful & magical words were resonating in my mind, if added to our arguments, can lead us to understand each other more profoundly. These words were “To some extent”.

For example, if I added those words to my arguments, I could say my friend was wrong “to some extent”, which eventually means he was right “to some extent” and possibility of me being wrong “to some extent” and hence dialogue & real communication becomes possible. Otherwise it was nothing but a ride of egos, a clash of heads, and an utter waste of time.

We need to understand that our categories are nothing but illusions. The categories we put ourselves and others in are no actually real. Right or left, conservative or liberals, autocratic or democratic, theist or atheist etc., have overlapping edges, connected with an invisible thread if seen with impartial eye. What is similar vastly outweighs what is different. No one can claim that there absolute distinctions are the absolute truth of the long cosmic theatre. So why fight with fiery eyes? Why do we resort to words and weapons to negate another when there is the possibility of everyone being right and wrong “To some extent”?

Most of the ancient or modern world conflicts are rooted in the claim of absoluteness. As if the complete script is known. When one party says, “We know the absolute solution and it is the only solution”, or “our philosophy is the only true philosophy”. Then there is war, blood, extortion and all sort of insecurities. Capitalism is right “to some extent” and Communism is also right “to some extent”, why can’t we adopt a middle & more rhythmic path?  Why don’t liberals hear the conservatives out and see the possibility of each being right & wrong “to some extent”.

If we can see the rightness of others “to some extent”, there is breathing space for dialogue & real human connection. And for that to happen, each human, group or country needs to drop the notion of self-righteousness for a while, when in any sort of communication, and see the extent of rightness in other. Ultimately we need to learn how to suspend our own agendas to truly listen to one another so that dialogue become possible.