We have two broad ways of using our attention. The one is expressed in the statement, “He’s looking at me” and the other one is expressed in the statement, “He’s listening to me.”
We have a tendency to indulge in the negative and overlook the positive. If there is any work to be done, it is to try to focus on the positive.
Good communication really starts with the ability to listen. Being a good listener then is a very important skill. So, how does one become a good listener?
It is not owning a car that fulfills one; it is only the joy of driving that can possibly be fulfilling. But the driving is something you do, not something you get or have.
The second issue with focusing on results is that it keeps us stuck in the past.
We are frequently “dumbed down” by our emotions, especially if it reaches a certain level of intensity. We tend to see our “emotions” not things themselves.
I started running at a manic stage of my life where things were out of control for me. I figured that I needed to have an island of calmness in the sea of chaos that was my life.
The fun part begins when you start paying attention to how people respond or react to what you say or do.
After my open heart surgery they kept me sedated for another 24 hours. In the process of coming slowly awake my first awareness was of an almighty thirst.
Ultimately we need to learn how to suspend our own agendas to truly listen to one another so that dialogue become possible.