How being a “nice” boss can ruin your company

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To hear Uzma Khan say that being a “nice” boss can cause the downfall of a company is startling. Afterall, the former head of Human Resource at a stock exchange firm and current Regional Manager for a council has been nothing but nice since we touched base.

From the reschedulings, delays due to internet connectivity (we were located five hours apart), and the dropped calls, nothing could sway her positivity and eagerness to share her knowledge and opinions; one of which is the misconception on being a “nice” boss.

In this interview, Uzma shares what she’s discovered about how being a “nice” boss can be disastrous for a company, and what bosses can do to be nice while leading their team and organizations to success.

Why being inappropriately nice is damaging

1. It does not give employees a chance to grow

According to Uzma, most people mistake being nice as having to give, and thus to be a nice boss, the act of giving has to be a de-facto rule across all situations. “However, Schuitema has shown me that giving is not about being all nice and honey and sweet all the time. Giving means having to give what a person needs at that particular time,” explained Uzma.

When you constantly give inappropriately to your employees, it does not give them a chance to stretch and to grow. For example, if a person stops jogging the second he feels tired, then he would never over time gain the stamina or speed that he might aspire to achieve.

As Chris Walker, Regional HR Manager of JM says, “A person grows only when he feels a discomfort in his chest, and the magnitude of learning is proportionate to the magnitude of discomfort he feels.”

2. It dismisses accountability

Another reason why being innappropriately nice can be damaging is because it dismisses accountability on the part of the employee. If too many mistakes get done without any form of censure, what it signals is that the employee can thus do (or not do) whatever he wants and get away with it.

In an example, Uzma shares the story of a former subordinate who constantly did not deliver any of the expectations his role required him to meet. Had Uzma not taken the subordinate to task, he might have continued his actions without caring how it would have affected his colleagues or the company as a whole.

3. It shows that you do not care

Uzma too highlights that in the extreme end of being nice, “the boss is so soft that the person keeps on doing wrong things. However, they do not guide them, and they never affirmed with them that it is not the right way to do things. “

Even if the boss might mean his being nice as an act of caring for the employee, the act itself might be perceived by others as not caring – both of the employee and of the company. Afterall, if the boss’s need to be perceived as nice or his fear to step up to the plate stumps the growth of his employee and of his company, that would mean he cares more of himself above others.

5 Tips to Care and Grow your employees

1. Set clear parameters

Uzma shares that the first tip to be approprirately nice – to really care and grow employees – is to set clear parameters.

“There has to be a point of measurement,” explained Uzma. “You need to be clear about what needs to be done, and be practical about deadlines and things like that.”

The point of setting clear parameters is to make expectations transparent and to set benchmarks that employees can now work towards; Employee and employer are now one the same page.

2. Hold accountabiliy

Uzma also shares that clear parameters are useless unless they are yardsticks of measurement in which the employee must be made accountable to.

“There was somebody that I worked with, and the person was not able to deliver what they were asked to do… and those were the cold competencies that the role required. And so I had to take him to task, which eventually led him to having to find a different employment,” said Uzma.

While holding a person accountable – especially if the person is a close colleague – might sound difficult, Uzma shared that the former employee in question still calls her up to ask for advise today as he knows what she did at that time was fair and appropriate.

3. Act like a coach

New York Times Bestselling Author Daniel Coyle found in his research that great mentors can be identified by a few characteristic traits – ones that you might want to embody to truly care and grow your employees. For example,

a) Someone who does not remind you of a courteous water

According to Coyle, a mentor who focuses his efforts on keeping his mentees “comfortable and happy, on making things go smoothly with minimum effort” is good to have as a waiter, but not as a mentor.

In the words of Uzma, “Giving means having to give what a person needs at that time, which might even be tough.”

b) Someone who scares you a little

Good mentors tend to watch their mentees closely, are action-oriented, and sometimes unnervingly honest. Coyle states that while this might sting, mentees will know it’s not personal but it is information that would help them get better.

Mirroring Coyle’s insights, Uzma said, “The person (the employee she had to let go off) knew my decision was not personal, but something that had to be done in due to the situation. He understood that it was required of him to be responsible, and to learn some lessons.”

4. Be gentle but firm

While being too nice a boss might be damaging to a company, so is being too aggressive. According to Uzma, “Some managers go overboard, they forget that their objective is to create betterment and change the behaviour, rather than shouting at the person in front of everyone.

Taking to task, to me, means calling them in my room, ensuring the door is closed, and just talk, and ask what’s happening. I explain that they have to be accountable, that they have been given a system, so why is not happening? So we just sit and talk, be firm about it. “

5. Have the right intentions

Often, the difference in being perceived as appropriate to the situation sits in the underlying intent of the boss.

“In the Care and Growth model, you can take employees to task in a caring manner, and they are fine because they know its coming sincerely. But if you do it for your own good, then they too sense it, and you won’t find them easy to deal with. Employees realize that you’re doing it from your ego.

It’s all about being sincere with others, though it really requires a constant checking on yourself. You have to regularly ask if it’s really coming from yourself, and if you’re doing it in the best interest of the other person? If you just keep that in mind, then life becomes easy,” elaborated Uzma.

In addition to the five invaluable tips Uzma Khan shared with us, the Schuitema Care and Growth model too has a framework for employee empowerment. Implemented in numerous companies we have worked with, the five steps to empowerment have seen much success in organizations, making decision-making easy and relationships clearer.

“The Care and Growth model is freeing and practical. If you can manage to understand and apply it, it means a lot of freedom and piece of mind for yourself and for others.” – Uzma Khan

The 5 Steps to Empowerment from the Schuitema Care and Growth Model

1. Identify the next step
2. Train people to take that step (both the ‘why’ and the ‘how’)
3. Test the ability of the person to take that step (both the ‘why’ and the ‘how’)
4. Hand over the means
5. Hold the person accountable