Leadership in Education – Trust and Conditionality

So when do we know that we can trust another person?

To trust means to believe that the other person will act in our best interest when it comes to the crunch. The real test of trust is when the other person is able to suspend his self-interest and put your interest first.  In our interaction with students it means we have to be able to suspend our needs and aspirations in the interest of the child.  This means we have to be able to act unconditionally.

Being unconditional in our interactions is very difficult for most of us. In a sense, it is also the highest level of maturity. Being conditional means giving something to get something in return. It is doing something for someone because you expect something from that person in the future. That is not giving that is making an investment.

For example a teacher, Arif, offers to stay after school and give his students extra individual help because they are really struggling in Chemistry. Later, the students find out that Arif has a private tuition practice and was simply giving them a “taste” of what they would learn if they came to him at home. Obviously he would charge them a fee for the service.

On the other hand Tahira always allows students to come to her house before major exams and does not charge them anything for the extra support.

Arif’s students will feel used and manipulated, and when he gives them extra work, or a difficult test in which they struggle will wonder what his motives are. Tahira’s students however will be grateful for the extra help. They will trust her and when she challenges them they will do their best because they know it is in their interest.

Trust is also vital to create a ‘safe space’ for learning. Learning is risky because a student is required to attempt something he has not yet mastered, and he will likely make mistakes in the beginning. In fact, if a student does not make mistakes while learning a new skill it would mean he had already mastered the skill or concept and the instructional objective was too easy to begin with. It is by learning from our ‘mistakes’ that learning actually takes place. A student must feel a teacher’s genuine and unconditional support to be in that comfort zone where it is alright to make a mistake.

Teachers who are completely focused on the outcome lose sight of this reality. I have seen teachers use negative reinforcement and even sarcasm to ‘push’ students to try harder without realizing they are only pushing students into a self protective shell.

Finally, as a school principal I have had to call parents into my office for a variety of infractions. As long as the parents trust that I am acting in their child’s interest, I have found that I always have their support, regardless of the seriousness of the transgression or the associated consequence.

On the other hand, if a parent feels I am acting to support a teacher who might feel slighted, or to protect the school’s reputation, I have a confrontation. In that situation any measure the school takes in terms of student accountability becomes counter productive because the message from the parents to the student is, “The school is wrong and you were right”.  The child then will learn nothing from being held accountable and will only become more defiant because he will believe he has been wronged.

There will always be times when both teachers and principals need to act in a manner which the child and parent will find unpleasant. As long as we have consistently demonstrated that we genuinely care for the child, and that we are acting in concert with what he needs to grow as a student and a person, we will have their support.