Trust is something which is often mentioned as a virtue. People have often said to me in the past “you should be more trusting”. But what precisely is meant by trust? Well, when you trust a person you are convinced that they are benevolently disposed towards you, you are convinced that they are not going to let you down. In most cases what we have in mind when talking of trust is the trust we give to a person. Trust however is an attitude we can have towards the universe, not just a single person. People that trust the universe are convinced that the universe is benevolently disposed towards them, they have a sense that things will be okay. This is a deep-seated, though often very subtle, sense of security.
It is this kind of trust, the trust towards the universe that is the most profound and valuable trust we can cultivate. The ability to trust that things will work out is an indispensably useful quality to have. We may however ask, why is trust so good for us? Why should we be more trusting?
Kerryn Burnett relayed a beautiful story during a Grow to Care workshop conducted by Pam Pretorius which clearly shows the benefits that trust can have, not only for us but for those around us. Kerryn’s story starts on a day that she and her husband Ross Burnett were walking to the shop around the corner, a short stroll from their home. On the way to the shop they were held up by two muggers. One of the worst parts of the experience was that no-one stopped to help, cars just continued past. They felt completely help-less, abandoned and alone.
It took three to four months to get over this ordeal. What was so remarkable about their story is the way they dealt with the trauma. They resisted the temptation to withdraw and become negative about the world. In fact they deliberately did the opposite. They made a conscious choice to trust the universe.
This attitude they consciously cultivated turned out to be very useful in a similar incident. They came across someone being held up at gun point in her car on her driveway. The two robbers were demanding that this person open the gate so they could gain access to the house. Instead of doing what others had done to them when they were in a similar situation, they remembered how they had felt when they were mugged. Ross courageously drove straight up to the car and blew his hooter non-stop until the robbers abandoned their quest and ran away.
This is a wonderful story of courage and what it can mean for the beneficiaries of it. This story however contains a very significant lesson. We see this lesson in the way that Kerryn and Ross responded to the trauma of being mugged. It is exceptionally significant that they deliberately cultivated trust towards the universe. This is exceptionally significant because of the connection that exists between trust and courage. This story illustrates that we are only able to act with courage when we cultivate trust within ourselves. This is why it was so significant that they deliberately chose to cultivate trust.
Acting with courage requires that we subordinate our self-interest in order to do what is right. This is incredibly difficult to do because we instinctively feel that we always have to look after ourselves because no-one else will. If we are convinced that no-one is going to look after us so we have to look after ourselves then it is practically impossible to subordinate our self-interest.
People that trust the universe however are convinced that the universe is benevolently disposed towards them and consequently they do not need to spend their time worrying about how to look after themselves, rather they can concern themselves with doing the right thing. This means then that the person who trusts will be more able to subordinate their interests in order to do what is right. This is because they are not laboring under the opinion that they must always look after themselves.
In the case of Kerryn and Ross Burnett, cultivating trust actually gave them the tool-age to respond with courage in a situation which required it. In the situation in which they happened upon the woman being robbed they were able to subordinate their self-interest and do what was right. This required trust. Thank-fully they had been deliberate about cultivating it.
Though the story of Kerryn and Ross is an exceptional story of exceptional courage, we must not forget that trust helps us do the right thing in the small everyday things just as much as it helps in extraordinary situations which require immense courage. Giving honest feedback because you trust that it will not be badly received and even if it is badly received trusting that you will still be okay. Holding off on the micro-management and trusting that your team will deliver, allowing them to rise to the occasion and make sure they don’t let you down. All of these things require trust. This is because they require you to subordinate your self-interest in order to do what is right and this is possible only if you feel secure in the knowledge that, whatever happens, you will be okay.