Do we Need to Re-think Society?

It has been more than a decade since I graduated from one of the best business schools of my country. Back then, it was a matter of huge pride just to get into this institute, passing from a coterie of tests and interviews.

I recall now with amusement how I took coaching for a few months just for the aptitude test and in a bid to have a single minded focus, I never applied to another school so that I could in effect, ‘burn all my boats’.

When I made it finally, it was like a dream! The first day at the orientation, we were told how privileged we were and that we were ‘the cream of the society’; having made it to the selected 70 from thousands of applicants. And so, over the next 4 years, we were passed through a rigorous education system that aimed to produce ‘effective leaders and managers’ with acumen and well rounded personalities; people with razor sharp faculties geared to survive the toughest corporate environment.

Many of us have become exactly what the institution aimed to make us. Many of us have climbed the corporate ladder quickly and have had great professional success across the world. It is also heartening to see how the lives of ordinary people from the middle class strata has transformed through a prestigious degree and affordable education, hence bringing them into the affluent, well heeled circles.

However, in retrospect, where I feel my institution failed was to instill a sense of meaning into our purpose. For four years, we were fed with a sense of pride and glory at being the students of a fine institution from where corporate and political leaders had acquired their degree. What we were not told was that this pride needed to have responsibility attached to it. We were never made to realize that our quest to climb the corporate ladder ought to be driven by values rather than our needs. We were single-mindedly made to see how we could fit into the cogs of any multinational organization and make profits for it and in the process make ourselves wealthy. Where that focus failed was also to give us a bearing once those aspirations had been achieved. That was left for the organization to teach. And that depended on the maturity of the organisation’s leadership.

I was one of those who wanted more meaning to my work than making the shareholder wealthy. At one point in life I was making a lot of money and yet I was miserable because I didn’t see how my effort was making an impact on anyone’s life. My work paid so well and yet it was such a drudge. The only motivation was my paycheck and the look of admiration from people when they found out I was a manager in a huge organization. In retrospect that made me nothing more than a successful slave.

Eventually, the friction between an unfulfilled heart and a well heeled self became too much. It took me four years to join an organization whose unconventional take on personal and organizational leadership had got me thinking.

So this was a bunch of people who coach individuals and companies on how to excel. They advocated that your success as an individual or an organization depended not on what you get for yourself but rather on what you give to others. It seemed bizarre really. And whats more, they said you had to give unconditionally which meant you give without regard of what you get back for yourself. That was even more difficult to comprehend. But interestingly, this bunch of people had research to prove it. And what was more compelling about them was that they lived by what they said.

And ever since I have been with them, this new way of looking at things has opened up.

Primarily I have realized that you can’t go far if you engage others with a sense to ‘take’ from them for your own self. This intent to take could be for material gains or even immaterial ones like good opinion or appreciation but it gets resisted after a while. You would understand this if you have avoided or resisted someone who has bullied you subtly or overtly for something that is in your hold.

When ‘takers’ collude, whether within the family or the organization, and when there are too many of them, a society begins to disintegrate. Where you have too much of greed by some, you’ll see companies defaulting, draughts, famines etc. If you think about it, what is the global warming but the collective greed of affluent societies that wish to acquire from the planet for themselves.

For Pakistanis this should not be too hard to comprehend. We are struggling and failing on various fronts like politics, development, sports and media because of this ‘I am entitled to take from you’ stance. At the root of this decay is greedy selfishness and arrogance.

Then, what should work?

That we have more and more people willing to ‘give’ or serve to others with what is in the best interest of others. You give off with generosity where it is due and you give off with courage where it is due. You apprehend the offence and you reward the achievement. You do the right thing even if it is against your self interest. As an individual, for instance you focus on what you can do to make lives better for others, even if they may be in your family, workplace or the society in general.

Ask a happy family and they’ll tell you their harmony stems from respecting each other, giving space to each other and from sharing trust and love. That is giving.

Ask an organization that is flourishing and you’ll know that the surplus they produce is there because the team is producing more, collectively than individual efforts. That is giving.

Analyse an admirable society and you’ll see citizens abiding rules, merit prevailing, tolerance for diversity. That is giving.

The only way to procreating abundance and to flourishing is to recognize that life is to be lived in consistent, appropriate contribution for others, not for your own self interest. It will do well for institutions that are grooming leaders to be talking and teaching about this ‘unconventional’ worldview, of collaboration instead of competition, or giving instead of taking, of serving others instead of usurping for yourself.