Being Appropriate in the Moment

How can you know what is the right thing to do? This is the question that I have been asked several times. I think that there is a genuine confusion in the minds of the people. No wonder we have been bombarded by the statement: ‘what is right is subjective’.

First of all we need to understand that the realm of action is the moment that we are in. Surely one can’t act in the moment that has passed and the moment that has not arrived yet. So doing the right thing means being appropriate in the moment: answering the call of the moment.

It follows logically that the prerequisite for being appropriate in the moment is seeing things as they are. Only then you know what is the right thing to do. We are unable to see things as they are because of our biases. Our biases are rooted in our past experiences; moments in the past that were not dealt with appropriately and turned into baggage.

This baggage is essentially of two types: resentment against others and resentment against self. Self believes that others have treated him badly, exploited him. At the same time self is guilty of wrong doings. The problem is that whatever has happened in the past can’t be undone. If self does not get rid of the baggage it keeps poisoning the present. In fact because self believes that other has been unkind in the past, the resentment translates into fear of future. Surely a person who is infested with resentment and fear can’t see things as they are.

In my personal journey I have found the following reflections very useful in getting rid of my baggage:

• What has happened has happened. I can’t undo the past. Then why am I letting it dictate my present? I should forgive others as well as myself, clean the slate and start afresh.
• I am very small, in fact negligible compared to the other. If they are unkind, how am I surviving? My existence testifies that they are benevolently disposed towards me.
• I should count my blessings. All that I have has come from other than me. If they have been kind in the past why can’t I trust them for the future?
• The events of the past have brought me where I am today. Surely there is a design in events. They can’t be arbitrary.

The key challenge is to transmute self’s rancour of the past into gratitude. This gratitude enables trust. Inward gratitude manifests itself in generosity towards the other and trust will manifest in courage to take up challenges. Now equipped with generosity and courage and the intent to do what is right even if it is not in self’s interest, one can always see what is the right thing to do in the moment.