The Bubble of Biography

My mother’s death made a highly significant impact in the lives of us three siblings. Perhaps, because it was the first death of somebody beloved, or because she had been a very strong influence on us.

Each of us came to terms with the loss in our own way. And interestingly, each of us remembered her differently. I was born eight years after my brother who is an year younger to my eldest sister. So my siblings have been able to recall her life story when she was a young woman while I have a different end of the story with me.

One day, sifting through her books and old photographs at my folk’s house in Karachi, I was struck by the realization of what a fascinating story each of us are living. Every individual who has lived on this planet has evolved through innumerable experiences. We are a sum total of what we have encountered in our lives. Each of us is a fascinating story. How we start out and where we end up is truly a marvel. And then when we die, which we all do without exception, our story ends.

It might sound heartless, but her photographs and belongings will hold very little or no value for our children and their children. Because her story has ended. Her biography is complete. Her book is closed.

You can try to relive someone’s story by treasuring their belongings, cherishing their photographs or holding on to your memories of them but the story ends when the person goes. You cannot live their life by fiercely holding on to the memory and you cannot certainly relive their story down to its littlest detail even if you think you know everything about their life.

Some of us like to hold on to our own, or somebody else’s biography very fiercely. We continue to relive our or somebody else’s experiences of glory, achievement, grief, deceit, love and so on. We sort of reinforce some aspects of the story because that’s the best our brain can do. Our brains do not and cannot relive an entire life story as it was.

Actually, the biography is inconsequential if it does not benefit someone. Any other way, the biography becomes a claim to self significance and an obstruction in our own journey to living the miracle called life in the most fascinating way that we can.

How does our biography help us? In my opinion it only helps us if we look at our life story with a feeling of marvel and gratitude. Marvel because we could not have calculated how our lives would have been and gratitude because of the good that came our way… and good comes in everyone’s way provided they look at things graciously. So if you look at your life’s story with awe and gratitude you will begin to look towards your future with trust. If things have been good and if the things which weren’t so good only brought me more good later… then the future will be good too. Such an attitude automatically lessens your anxiety towards the future.

Conversely, someone’s life story could benefit you if it helps you live yours better. If it equips you with the  higher ideals of courage, generosity, awe, gratitude, wisdom, honesty, integrity, trust and love!

With the intent of merely making a record, you could write your own or someone’s biography (or treasure it in your head) to the best of your capability but at best you will be waving the torch at some significant instances of an entire life’s story. If you probe deep enough, these significant moments have either affected your ego (that is fed it or bruised it) or have benefitted you in a way so as to make you a better person or helped you improve your life experience. Because there is no dearth of fascinating stories in a planet rippling with life, our own experience or our life, can be likened to a bubble at best. Some bubbles blow up bigger and outlive others for a tad bit longer but they all burst nevertheless.