Often enough in our manic routines, we try to do as much as possible within a short period of time. While we manage to complete lots of tasks by cramping our routine, we fail on a personal front due to high stress, exhaustion and a feeling of being unfulfilled. In not so many words, we fail to strike a balance within ourselves and don’t know how to do so.
In my own experience, striking a balance within ourselves is of key importance before we try to fulfill our other roles and duties. For each of us the way to do it could be different. I will share what works for me in this ongoing challenge of striking a balance within!
1. Aligning to the Day-Night Balance
Some researches suggest that creative people tend to function better in the night whereas those with analytical and logical minds and work do better during the day. My work has always been inclined towards creativity whether as a writer or a researcher. I used to think that the night suited me better till parenthood struck and the night was no longer a domain of silent peace!
Then I discovered that early morning was the best time to get the maximum work done. Whether getting chores finished or completing that difficult article, the morning hours somehow meant a faster and clearer thought process. I’ve discovered along the way that aligning one’s self to the natural day/night balance also brings a hormonal balance within the body and according to research; keeps the mind alert.
2. Meditation
Keeping to a routine of daily meditation can do amazing wonders. Specially if the meditation helps you breathe better and if it helps to clear ‘internal dialogue’ through increased concentration. What breathing meditations achieve is that aside from increased oxygen going into the body, a good blood circulation and mental agility, they attune one’s attention towards one’s own self; towards the Being called You.
So after a meditation session in which I have focused well, I suddenly realize how hungry I am ( I’ve always had a problem of treating nutrition as a very low priority) or which part of my body needs to relax.
For some people, their way of prayer is meditative. For others, yogic meditations work. Figure out what works best for you and do it regularly with full focus.
3. Being in the Moment
Negative internal dialogue removes us from being grateful and from being in the moment we are in. So instead of being thankful for a million things we have with us, we are enslaved by the voice inside that is telling us how awful that pimple looks on our face or how mean that person was to us back then.
When there is no internal dialogue, it means there is no personal agenda sabotaging our ‘moment’. The key to being alert, vigilant, mindful, gracious, balanced and productive is to be in the moment. The moment will tell you what should be your highest priority.
4. Learn to Say No
Again this is subjective, but for me the ability to say NO politely and firmly has managed wonders. Sometimes we are not able to refuse because we want the approval of others or because we want to fulfill our own self imposed criteria of being successful. If saying No is a problem for you, find out why it is so. Once you’re able to refuse the unnecessary out of your life, you will have a lot of clarity on how to approach and manage the necessary.
But before you say no, make sure it is for the right reasons. In ‘Schuitemese’, you must see things as they are before you transact appropriately.
5. Be flexible
Achieving a balance within is easier if one submits to things happening around one; again a corollary of being in the moment. This does not mean that you approach life sans any goals, routine or task list. It means however, that if your own agenda is aligned with what is happening about you, you will be far more useful to yourself and others around you… and flexibly so.
For instance, a couple of days ago I had to get myself and my two kids ready to go to a relative’s house and before that I had to do some cooking. I approached the situation sequentially as per my own agenda which was roughly like this: (1) Cook Food, (2) Bathe Kid 1, (3) Feed Kid 1 and Myself, (4) Feed Kid 2, (5) Get Ready.
When I started cooking, I realized that the gas pressure was really low owing to load shedding in winters. Now, If I weren’t bent on proceeding as per the stated sequence I would have altered the plan and gone about (2) and (4) before (1) since Kid 2 is an infant and does not need cooked food. Instead, I stuck to cooking on a dismal flame and by the time I should have finished with (2), Kid 2 was howling noisily for his feed. Naturally, I had to suspend the sequence and serve the little one and in doing so I was terribly late for the ultimate engagement. Babies have a vicious way of teaching us flexibility and managing by priority!
But I’ll tell you another personal secret. If your attitude towards your smashed agenda is one of learning, curiosity, acceptance and submission… the ultimate failure will actually be an insight. So for instance, your arriving terribly late for an appointment will actually fit perfectly in the bigger picture if you submit to the agenda about you. But on the contrary if you complain, go anxious and start swearing and hitting the trashcans on the pavement, you’ll not only hurt yourself but also grow more distant from the natural balance that you must align yourself with. Being gathered inside means being stronger and more powerful… and this demands your own balance be in sync with the grand balance.
It is quite like the example of Prophet Joseph (Yusuf) having spent a long time in a well and then in the jail until he was able to re unite with his father. The years in the well and the jail seemed futile but were crucial in bringing about his maturity and the maturity of those in his life. From being an apparently helpless man, he rose to a position of immense power in the kingdom of Egypt.
Everything happens at the right time and for the best reasons. The wise attitude is to accept it and throw ourselves and our agenda in submission to the grand plan.