While it would probably be agreed that coaching conversations are eyeball to eyeball leadership, there are very many opinions as to what those coaching conversations might actually be about. Some might describe them as giving feedback around performance, others might say they focus on counselling, or giving advice. Still others might use the term coaching for one-on-one instruction. Kinlaw asserts that “coaching is whatever the people who do it…say that it is” and describes four broad areas that could be considered for coaching conversations.
A genuine interest in bringing out the best in people would be critical for leaders to be accepted as truly legitimate by their followers. Therefore, coaching with this aim in mind becomes important in any leader’s role. Whatever the intention of the conversation, a leader requires certain skills to conduct effective coaching interactions.
In this coaching corner article we are going to briefly address the issue of coaching conversations with the help of an idealized dialogue:
In the following article we will cover the baseline skills required
Mary: Gosh, Sam, I had quite a tough call this morning. One of my team members wanted advice about applying for a position elsewhere in the company. Seeing as he’s one of my top performers, coaching him around his future and on whether or not he should consider leaving our team was a real challenge! On the one hand I wanted to keep him where he is, but on the other I was trying to think about him as a person and his ongoing career. It was almost as difficult as last week – coaching Ben about the repercussions his sometimes foul language!
Sam: I can imagine those must have been difficult conversations. You called them both coaching, but surely they can’t be coaching? They sound more like mentoring and counselling to me. Isn’t coaching more about showing people what to do, improving performance?
Coach: Actually, you are both right. Coaching can indeed involve tutoring someone, so they increase their technical competence or understanding. It certainly helps to support improved performance and to build a commitment to continuous learning. However, as a leader, you might also be called upon to assist your people to manage their careers, particularly regarding the next step they need to make. And you can often need to assist people to gain deeper insight into problems or behaviours, whether these are work related or personal.
Sam: But isn’t that what we call Mentoring and Counselling? Are you saying that I have to go through a whole lot of training to learn how to become both a mentor and a counsellor?
Coach: Actually, as leader, you need to be able to carry out both basic mentoring and counselling. The good news is that you need not be as skilled as those who carry out those professions for a living. In your leadership coaching role, the same skills are required for all these things so, no, you don’t need to be a professional Mentor or Counsellor. You just need to be aware of the intended outcome of your coaching conversation.
Sam: That still sounds more complicated than I imagined coaching to be. What specific skills would I need then to do all these things?
Mary: Before we get into specific skills, Coach, in terms of performance, would giving performance feedback and discussing people’s individual strengths and weaknesses be considered coaching?
Coach: Oh yes. Clarifying performance expectations, identifying any gaps between expectation and actual performance, as well as developing strategies for improvement could all fall under the ambit of coaching. So holding people accountable and confronting performance or behavioural issues might well involve coaching. And don’t forget, encouraging people to take on difficult or challenging assignments could also be thought of as coaching.
Sam: Now this is sounding even more complex! How can I possibly use the same skills to do all that?
Coach: Coaching is always underpinned by building relationships and rapport, being approachable and respectful, in other words gaining people’s trust. The key skills of any coach are knowing how to ask effective questions, really listening to what others say, suspending your own agenda where necessary, and offering fair and honest feedback. We will discuss this in more depth another time.
Mary: When you put it like that, I certainly do try to do those things, and I will definitely pay more attention to them when I am coaching my people.
Sam: I have always considered coaching to be just about improving performance. It sounds like I need to become more aware of where there are opportunities for coaching my guys other than just transferring technical expertise.
Mary: And yet, Sam, wouldn’t you also be improving performance by giving people feedback, helping them work through problems, take more accountability and even manage their careers?
Sam: You are absolutely right. I simply hadn’t seen it like that before!
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